No. 219 – Patersongate: 'A Mere Disturbance on the Surface of Mr Eustice's Favourite Brew'?

Dear James, 

Your party is in serious trouble. So are you. So also, is our country. The party’s problem is Boris Johnson. Your problem is that you’re now personally and demonstrably complicit in last week’s catastrophic vote to protect Owen Paterson by removing the current Parliamentary Standards Committee and replacing it with a Tory majority alternative. The country’s problem is that our reputation for fairness and competence in our democratic system has been trashed yet again. The government has once more been revealed as corrupt, venal and incompetent. Boris has damaged your party, dented our parliament and dealt another egregious blow to our nation’s reputation for fair trading and honesty. If you are an honourable man James, you must be feeling very depressed this morning. Unfortunately, you are probably just brushing it off, like your vapid George Eustice this morning, as just another ‘Westminster storm in a teacup’.

As a government whip, I assume that you were manning those phones on Thursday, strong-arming your MPs to vote for the amendment to support poor, hard-done-by Owen Paterson - the MP who earned £100,000 a year for illegally lobbying on their behalves - in his hour of need. There are even rumours that you threatened withdrawal of central funds to any who refused your blandishments. Quite frankly I’m not surprised. You’re still living in the Brexiteer bubble where any lie is ok, where any rogue politician is supported and where no one can touch you because of your 80 seat plus majority. Any hope of a political repentance today, James? No, I suppose not. One of the populists’ mantras is, ‘Never apologize. Apology is weakness’. Today, unable to deny the offence completely, Mr Eustice did the next best thing. He admitted the mistake but then reduced the original misdeed to a mere disturbance on the surface of his favourite brew.

Boris Johnson is reckless, feckless and brainless. His spokesmen are subservient apologists for the man’s frequent gaffes and missteps. Friday’s massive U-Turn in the House of Commons and the subsequent resignation of the MP in question, is just the latest example of the more than 30 U-Turns identified by a national newspaper this week in the two years of Boris’s tenure. One U-Turn alone would be enough to disqualify a learner driver. Thirty plus is enough to make any driving examiner giddy and reach for whisky bottle. If not worse. But running an advanced nation is not a driving school where rules and competences are checked before allowing a driver onto our roads. It’s a very serious business requiring huge competences, judgment and integrity, all of which are totally absent from our current PM and his government.

Boris won the 2019 election on the basis of his uncommon, ‘common touch’. Since then he has once again revealed himself as the bounder that he is. But this time his error is a whopper. With your help James, he ordered reluctant MPs to vote to protect a renegade Brexiteer and member of the ERG to escape from his 30-day suspension from parliament. Boris’s loyal MPs complied and were then flabbergasted when he U-Turned within  24 hours. A few of your MPs however, stuck courageously to their principles and voted against the amendment. Thank goodness, that the embers of principled action still remain in small pockets of your party James.

James, do I hear the hushed sounds of those men in grey suits brushing down their lapels and polishing their loafers? And what’s that sticking out of their breast pockets? Isn’t that a picture of a boyish Chancellor with the infectious smile? Because, oh boy, you’re going to need him. The Governor of the Bank of England tells us we must prepare for two years of financial hardship. The OBR predicts a 4% fall of GDP due to Brexit. Supply chains for Christmas are already stretched, fuel bills are rising, food banks are near breaking point, National Insurance is going up and Covid is still with us. And Boris is going to continue being Boris! 

James, this week ‘The Mother of Parliaments’ has suffered yet another physical assault on her fragile person. The illegal Proroguing of parliament, the hounding out of civil servants, the ignoring of independent advice, and now the targetting of Kathryn Stone, the Independent Commissioner for Public Standards, is just the latest on the list of outrages.

Boris may hang on but after this week, he’s effectively finished. A disgrace to our nation, the sooner those grey suits knock on his door, the better.

Kind regards,

BH – Your Concerned Constituent