No.234 – The Political Black Hole that Is Boris Johnson.

Dear James,

Boris Johnson is a political ‘black hole’. No one knows what happens inside that black hole – not even him - because no light ever escapes that impenetrable blackness. All we know is that any politician who gets near to its ‘event horizon’ will eventually be devoured. He or she will buffeted, spun, turned upside down, inside out by gravitational forces beyond our imagination. But finally they will disappear into that insatiable abyss, never to be heard of again.

Yesterday the black hole devoured four more of its own. Munira Mirza, Boris’s Chief Policy Adviser and one of his most faithful loyalists resigned because of his ‘scurrilous’ personal attack on Sir Kier Starmer a few days before when he spat venom at the Leader of the Opposition, accusing him of failing to prosecute Jimmy Saville, the notorious paedophile, when Director of Public Prosecutions. Braggarts reveal themselves in such situations. The ‘art of pleasing’ that they have been trained to adhere to throughout their privileged lives, crumbles under pressure and reveals the entitlement and arrogance of their type. It’s never a pretty picture.

Also yesterday, following Munira in quick order, Communications Director, Jack Doyle, the Number Ten Chief of Staff, Dan Rosenfeld and Boris’s Principle Private Secretary, Martin Reynolds all tendered their resignations. OK you can say they jumped before they were pushed but the process shows the same panic that characterises this government. That gravitational whirlwind of sleaze and betrayal rips any body that gets too close to the centre of the maelstrom to shreds. Today, Boris stands alone, toxic, permanently damaged, protected only by diehards such as Nadine Dorries. Who would be willing to step into the shoes of those recently departed? Only the desperately ambitious or fanatically driven would undertake such a venture. Only those with a political death wish will get close to the black hole.

Boris has debased the office of Prime Minister. Evasive at best, a downright liar at worst, he’s the laughing stock of the international community and yet he still continues as our PM. Remind you of anybody, James? Yes, he really is the UK version of Donald Trump in the USA. Democracy cannot survive when otherwise responsible public servants have no higher responsibility than protecting their seats. Well done Munira Mirza! What took you so long?

One of his masters at Eton College once said Boris, “honestly believes that it is churlish of us not to regard him as an exception, one who should be free of a network of obligation which binds everyone else.” Well, soon he will be totally free of such networks because those networks, save for a few like yourself James, are being sucked into that dark void of abasement. Any that venture near Boris Johnson will be destroyed. 

Actually, for those who know a little about real  ‘black holes’, may also know that some things do actually come back via a phenomenon called ‘Hawking Radiation’. Subatomic particles have ‘pairs’ that live outside the hole. Dominic Cummings was devoured by Boris but still exists as a ghostly entity waiting for every opportunity to wreak revenge. Which may help to explain Boris’s haunted look over the last few tumultuous weeks? 

Last week a summarized version of Sue Grey’s report on ‘Partygate’ hit parliament and continues to reverberate. The spectacle of Boris and his hapless apologists ‘fighting back’ was painful to witness. Fortunately there are some Tories who still have principles. Lord Agnew resigned in the Lords citing the waste of tax payers money in the PPE fiasco two years ago. He accused Ministers of arrogance and schoolboy errors with regard to stopping fraud. One thousand companies were identified as not trading when the loans were received by them! Yesterday the Treasury wrote off £9bn of that debt. Since then three more Tory MPs have stated that they are sending letters of complaint to Graham Brady. Once a dam is breached James, there is little to stop its eventual collapse. Boris is a busted flush. And, sorry to mix metaphors even further, but even black holes eventually evaporate.

So James, it’s only a matter of time. He may have days, perhaps weeks, perhaps months. It may even be years until he goes but Boris Johnson is already Prime Minister in Name Only. Come on, James. Show some mettle! Put the man out of his misery by writing that letter to Sir Graham. For all our sakes!

BH – Your Concerned Constituent